Umbrella

I don’t really listen to music by Chris Brown or Rihanna, but I am still aware that they both are powerful figures in society. Their recent trouble involving physical abuse is unfortunate, to say the least. I have been loosely following the story from the initial reports to the leaked images of Rihanna's face, and it got me thinking.

Domestic violence is horribly “under the radar.” I read several sites and talked to several people in the Social Work field, and their specific statistics vary, but there is a trend: only a small minority of physical abuse cases are reported. I’m not a social worker, nor am I a statistician, so I’m not exactly sure what “reported” means, but there is a general consensus that domestic violence is an underreported crime.

Perhaps surprisingly, I’m not going to impugn Chris Brown. There have been many public comments made concerning Brown’s guilt or innocence. Most notably, Kanye West spoke out on Rihanna’s behalf while SNL’s Kenan Thompson took a more neutral stand. Either way, I think the overall focus is wrong. This is not a story about Chris Brown and Rihanna, and this is not a story about the public reaction to said relationship. This is a story about awareness.

Chris Brown is not a god who has fallen; Chris Brown is simply a famous mortal who showed his own mortality.

Chris Brown is a regular man with regular emotions. His anger and his passion consumed him, and he acted out in a rash and criminal manner. I am certainly not defending his actions, but I’m certainly not going to jump onto a soapbox and invest all my energy into a story that is just a fragment of the overall issue. I will not impugn Chris Brown; I will impugn domestic violence.

As Jose Saramago said in reaction to the protests against his book Blindness, “Stupidity doesn't choose between the blind and the non-blind.” I agree; domestic violence doesn’t choose between the “gods” and the mortals.

Whatever the reason, and whatever the context for domestic violence, it boils down to this: One person’s emotional charge overwhelms their inner being and leaks out onto another person in the form of physical aggression. The repugnant act is not Brown beating America’s Sweetheart; the repugnant act is an emotion in one person manifesting itself in the form of violence on another person.

If I choose to be angry or impatient or depressed, that is my choice. But my partner or my friends should not suffer for my flaws. And for that, I impugn Brown’s inability to control his inner self. I also impugn the others who have had momentary lapses in judgment and control.

I’m no better than any of the other people out there. We are the same humans with the same emotions and urges, and we all walk the same line between criminal and passionate. We are not Brown, but we should not cast him out either. I’m sure we could all benefit from a little awareness.

Rihanna was more wise than I gave her credit. Her lyrics of unity and togetherness seem quite fitting.

When the sun shines, we’ll shine together
Told you I'll be here forever
Said I'll always be a friend
Took an oath I'ma stick it out till the end
Now that it's raining more than ever
Know that we'll still have each other
You can stand under my umbrella

Good luck Chris Brown. And good luck Rihanna.

These are some sites I used to learn more about domestic violence.

Next Door: A Santa Clara domestic violence service agency.
http://www.nextdoor.org/

National Domestic Violence Hotline
http://www.ndvh.org/

National Coalition Against Domestic Violence
http://www.ncadv.org/