Thursday, April 15, 2010

Afraid of Sharon Stone

I was a zombie most of yesterday. Two days ago, I went to sleep at 4 am only to wake at 6 am. I was planning on going back into my deep sleep, but a minor emergency (my video game order from Amazon.com got messed up) and anger and frustration jolted me out of the sleepy phase.

So there I was, awake on Wednesday with only 2 hours of sleep. Of course, at about 7 pm, I crashed and took a two hour nap. Now, I'm one of those guys that a nap ruins my chances of falling asleep. Even a 30-minute nap will amp me up so high, I'll toss and turn all night.

So now, with my sleep cycle haphazardly shifted and my dog totally confused, I desperately searched for something on TV.

And that's when I came to Basic Instinct. I've heard good things about it, and I know there are countless references to this movie. So I took the plunge: My dog and I started watching this movie at 2:45 am.

That's when I started freaking out. Sharon Stone and Jean Tripplehorn are CRAZY in this movie. First off, they're naked for about half the movie and the other half they may, or may not, be stabbing people with an ice pick. This kind of psychological thriller totally freaked out the zombie version of me.

After the movie, all I could was imagine the killer jumping out of my closet, out of my bathroom, out from under my bed. I could feel the tingle of their ice pick piercing my neck. I felt helpless and unaware in my sleep-deprived state. So I did the only logical thing: I tied my all my doors shut with rope, and I cleared out under my bed and piled the junk in a corner. Even though I usually sleep fairly naked, I strapped on a sweatshirt like armor protecting from Sharon's potential attacks.

I slept on my side, hugging my dog close to my chest. Even though he had seen the movie, he wasn't afraid. He was as brave as ever. Sharon Stone didn't have shit on Pancake. He was my rock, my hero last night. And in an imagination where Sharon Stone was stalking me, my dog, unafraid of a murderer, guarded me.

I woke up this morning, and thought to myself, "Why the hell is the pantry tied shut with my good, blue neck tie?"

1 comment:

  1. I really enjoyed your blog. But if you had to be killed and stalked by someone, wouldn't you want it to be someone as hot as Sharon Stone?/?? I could be ok with that!

    I have read a bunch of your posts and will now stalk you in a friendly blogger way, not the sharon stone kind of way so keep your panites on...see, today is random search day for me where i just pick an obscure thing that I like and see if anyone else likes it and if their blog doesn't suck, then I get to follow it...i like this approach, i get to see lots of really wacked off the grid kind of blogs this way. And this is how I got to find your little gem of a blog ;o)
    So, today's random search was to see if there were any other people out there who had the movie Synecdoche as their favourite. I wanted to see what kind of bloggers liked it because everyone I know hated that movie or didn't get it yet I was so inspired by it as I am with all of Kauffman's movies. There are only 150 people who have this movie as their favourite either that or only 150 people can spell it, either way...can you believe that?

    So, your profile was one of the first to come up and you and I totally like the same kind of movies and books...I know that's a superficial way to start up a blogging friendship but hey, where else are you going to start?
    I think you are doing a great job with your site and I am looking forward to reading more soon.
    If you like, you can check out my site http://www.thewritingwomb.com if you like it follow, if not, no worries.
    Take care, I look forward to stalking you some more soon!

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