Holiday Peeps

It's been several years since I've conceded that Peeps just don't taste that good. Don't get me wrong: I love Peeps. Their crystalline sugar coating, their spongy innards, their whipped white stickiness. I'm one of those fellows that buys three packs of Peeps at Easter time because they're cute and eats only about four chicks or bunnies before the teeth and stomach groan from the sugar load.

But I'm no Peep expert. I think today's trip to the market proved that point.

In the candy aisle, I came across Holiday Peeps in the shapes of Christmas Trees and Snowmen. Several ladies gawked at the supposedly grown man, who was too lazy to get a cart, drop his gallon of milk and three jumbo Mr. Goodbars with a squeal of delight. I was excited...to say the least.

I quickly bought four trays, two of each species, and scampered home, ready to consume my bounty with holiday cheer and milk. After an entire life of eating Peeps, the company had gotten it right: another holiday to share in the charmingly adorable treats. I was Indiana Jones; I had unearthed the Holy Grail of Peeps, and I was secluded away in my apartment ready to explore this undiscovered bounty.

Little did I know that seasonal Peeps beyond Easter are an old occurrence. There are Halloween Peeps, and 4th of July Peeps, and even Valentine's Day Peeps.

I am out of the Peep loop. I'm ignorant. And worst of all: I'm sad. All these holidays that I've been alone, celebrating in solitude without the comfort-companion Peep. Today's shopping trip showed me that I need to know more about Peeps. I thought I was in. Actually, I'm out.