Glad to Be a Low-Key Dude

I'm glad I'm a low-key dude, so I can buy my 6 for $6 Fruit of the Looms that come in sealed packages.

Sexy underwear is nice but not when it could have the disclaimer, "Other people may have had their junk all up in the fabric of this fine undergarment; buy with caution."

Maybe if I were high-class I could afford special sanitizers to get rid of strangers' skid marks and underwear glue.