Brother

Astute followers of this blog know that my brother has been in town for the last few days, but his vacation came to a close today when I dropped him off at the airport.

Being honest, this wasn't the best trip ever. We fought both physically and mentally several times. I think my exhaustion from work, late nights, and frequent trips to Oakland wore me down. It would be simple to take naps, but I always feel that taking a nap when my brother is in town is wasting time we could be spending together. It wasn't the best trip, but returning from my Thursday-night activity, I felt the same regardless if we fought or not. I felt empty.

He might not be the funniest person, but I never laugh harder than when he and I are together. He might not be the smartest person, but he pushes me to be articulate and thoughtful. Saving some moments of friction that are bound to occur between brothers, I feel like a better version of myself when he's in town.




















We took this picture a few days ago. This picture was taken after I said, "It'd be weird if we started holding hands right now." And this moment encapsulates our relationship fairly well—I say something strange, and he accommodates my strangeness. I'm the wild one, he's the level-headed one. But neither of us are too extreme for the other; I have a waves of level-headedness, and he has moments of wildness. And these differences make for very interesting scenes. We work together so well that we apparently synced our steps for this picture without knowing it. We apparently have similar pulses of life. We compliment each other well.

I feel sad that he is gone. Even though the majority of time is spent apart from my brother, these last four days felt more familiar than the last four months. Without his vibrant personality, my life seems much more flat and gray.

I wish there was a more elegant or powerful way to say it, but I just miss my brother.