Kiss

A Conversation Overheard at Denny's
Of all the stupid things to do. I kissed
her. She's my only girl friend, and I fucked
it up. Now she knows. She knows about this.
We were friends. Now it's weird. We can't go back.

Dude, Jake, you haven't even talked to her.
Relax. She mighta dug the kiss. That's not
the point. The point is that she knows for sure.
She knows I dream of her, and that cannot

be wiped away. So what? You two are great
together. Everyone else thinks so too.
But she didn't get accepted to Yale.
I think the world of her, and can I move

away and leave the love of my life here?
I wonder what all this means for next year.


Dear Diary,
Jacob kissed me today. It happened just outside the photography room after fourth period. It wasn't like I imagined it would be. After dreaming of him for two years, after fabricating a meeting between us, after all my failed plans—he finally kisses me in the most unromantic manner.

We were laughing about how crazy Mr. Williams looked in class today, and before I knew it, Jacob leaned in so fast that our front teeth hit each other. It might have been more romantic if we had the chance to sink into the kiss, but as fast as he kissed me, he pulled away. It was the same length of kiss that I give my dad on the cheek. Just a peck. It wasn't at all like I imagined it. His spit was all around my mouth. It felt like I had just eaten ribs. I guess a hasty kiss is hard to aim correctly.

It wasn't slow or sensitive. He didn't run his hands through my hair. He just plowed into my face and pulled away. I think he was more shocked than me. After the kiss he said, "Sorry," and scampered away. I haven't seen him since.

I don't know why he was so embarrassed. Even though it wasn't perfect, I'm glad it happened. After so long a time, I had resigned myself to being his "friend."

But I wonder what all this means for next year.